
AGING AND SELF-PERSONALITY: VIEWS OF DAVID GUTMANN
David Gutmann, director of the Older Adult Clinic at Northwestern University, at the International Congress on Gerontology in 1985 reaffirmed his views: The personality differences between the sexes have not changed with the sexual revolution, he says, because they are built into our nature as human beings. Women are biologically programmed to want to nurture and men to want to conquer during the first half of adulthood because of the requirements of raising children. Young children should (ideally) have one parent who aggressively provides for their physical needs and one parent who looks after them emotionally, who offers the traditionally feminine qualities of understanding, patience, and selflessness. Once our children are adults, though, we do develop more balanced personalities because we no longer have to follow the biological rules that nature has built in to help ensure the growth of our young.
Recently Gutmann and Northwestern University psychologist Kathryn Cooper found support for the idea that caring for children dampens a woman's assertive drives and accentuates her "feminine" self. They compared a group of women in their forties with children still in the house with another group the identical age in the "empty-nest" phase of parenthood. As they predicted, the empty-nest women were more assertive, less passive, and more likely to describe themselves as "masculine" than the women still immersed in raising a child.
Older people I interviewed for this book describe having changed much as Gutmann describes. Women frequently tell me that over the years they have become less docile and subservient; men say age has mellowed them, made them more interested in the "real" values - family and relationships. But couching these changes just as less "masculinity" or "femininity" seems narrow and negative. The transformation may be part of a larger, very positive picture. I feel that as we grow older many of us become more self-confident, freer to allow our "real selves" to come out.
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