LOVE AND AGING: ELDERLY NEW LOVERS AND NEW MARRIEDS
What is love like when it strikes in our autumn years? To answer this question, sociologists Kristine and Richard Bulcroft used the membership list of a Minneapolis-Saint Paul singles club to find a group of autumn lovers, people ranging in age from sixty to ninety who were romantically involved but not married. They interviewed these elderly lovers, comparing their responses with those of college students in love.
Being older did not dim the heady symptoms of romance. The older lovers felt the same heightened sense of reality, awkwardness, heart palpitations, intense excitement, and sweaty palms as the twenty-year-olds. As one sixty-eight-year-old divorcee said, ' 'When you fall in love at my age there's initially a kind of 'oh, gee!' feeling - and it's just a little scary."
Nor did age weaken the lure of the trappings of romance. Both young and elderly lovers enjoyed candlelit dinners, long walks, flowers and candy. The older men agreed with the young men about the most romantic shared activity it was possible to have. As one seventy-year-old put it, "You can talk about candlelight dinners and sitting in front of the fireplace, but I still think the most romantic thing I've ever done is to go to bed with her."
There were differences, too. Among the older lovers the involvement was faster paced. People said that at their age there "was not much time for playing the field." The older people were also more realistic about those heady first sensations. Most had been in marriages that had lasted decades. They knew their racing hearts would quiet down and understood the value of what they hoped would follow - a more long-lasting love that grows out of knowledge, out of appreciating a real human being.
Yeah, passion is nice - it's the frosting on the cake. But it's her personality that's really important. The first time I was in love it was only the excitement that mattered, but now it's the friendship - the ways we spend our time together - that counts.
Luckily, in this study the idea that older lovers have to fight disapproving children was not borne out. When the relationship was made public, most sons and daughters accepted or welcomed it. Some would invite Mom or Dad's date to family get-togethers or to dinner at their homes. But the women particularly were often uncomfortable about letting their children know, sometimes devising elaborate strategies to conceal what was going on - hiding a lover's clothes when the grandchildren came over, bringing along the cordless phone on the nights spent "at his house."
*56/159/5*
GENERAL HEALTH
- The expiry date is mentioned on each blister. It is different for different batches. The shelf life is 2 years from the date of manufacture and would differ from batch to batch depending on when they were manufactured.
- Read the product information leaflet provided with the product before using it.
Information that this website contains are general information only and are not intended as a replacement for advise and recommendations made by your medical practitioner. We do not make any warranty or represent the accuracy of information supplied herein. We reserve the right to omit portions, correct errors or withdraw an entire page on this website as we see fit without prior notice.
Information about a certain drug, its uses, recommended dosages and side effects do not serve as a substitute to a prescription or information relayed to you by a licensed medical practitioner. These materials are just a general overview about the product. Likewise, we do not endorse use of any drug found on this site.
Use of this site is at your sole risk. We disclaim responsibility for reliance you place upon the information that we posted on this site. Always seek medical advice from a professional healthcare and discuss thoroughly your intention of using any of the medicine that is offered in this website.
|
