A FLUID HOUSEHOLD
(The following letter, like the preceding letter about semen, is from Orinda, California. Orinda!)
/ am currently trying to get pregnant after taking birth-control pills for three years. The problem is thusly:
I live in a rather fluid household. Besides my lawful, legal-type husband, there is almost always one additional man around and frequently there are several. I would like my first child to be my husband's but monogamy at our house is difficult and not particularly desirable to any of us. What is the best method of temporary contraception that won't interfere with my husband's sperm but will reduce the chances of anybody else's?
We'll use condoms if necessary but that's a big drag generally. I have been using foam but there seem to be drawbacks to the two brands available: 1)1 seem to develop some outlandish internal temperature, at least it feels that way. Several people say that their penises (peni?) seem to heat up to about 240 degrees F. when the foam is properly injected. 2) I've noticed that after using the foam, I get very sore. Like I can't sit down comfortably even. 3) While none of my not-husbands have gotten me pregnant, neither has my husband. How long does it take foam to disperse?
Your plight is a difficult one but I will try to answer your questions. Some women do have discomfort after using vaginal foams; this seems to be a local reaction similar to a cosmetic rash. The great heat noted by you and your friends might be generated by friction, but I suspect that their discomfort and yours is caused by a local allergy to the foam you are using.
Sperm may be alive and groping about one or two days after intercourse. Vaginal foams are usually effective in killing the sperm on contact but do not always work. A fresh application of foam is required each time intercourse occurs. The dispersal time is inconstant, depending on the individual.
In your circumstances the best way to conceive your husband's child would be the use of a diaphragm. The diaphragm could then be used at all times except between the tenth and eighteenth days of your menstrual cycle. These days should be reserved for your ever-loving lawful husband. Don't borrow a girlfriend's diaphragm. Have it fitted by a gynecologist.
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